Last week Darrius and I celebrated our 3-year wedding anniversary! This past weekend we continued the celebration with a 3-day staycation at the Renaissance Baltimore Harborplace. We lead a pretty active lifestyle, together and separately, so the time spent relaxing, shopping and just being alone with one another was perfect. One thing we like to do each year is “review” our marriage. We sit and talk about our highs and lows, things we’ve improved on and certain things we need to continue working on. I want to share some of my most memorable lessons, just like I did last year, so check out the top 7 marriage lessons I’ve learned these past 3 years.
1. Have Faith | There have been several times throughout the past 3 years where Darrius and I have had to rely on nothing but God to get us through certain situations. Our unwavering faith has helped us get through sickness, unexpected financial setbacks, deaths and so much more. I’ve learned that having faith doesn’t make the tough times disappear; it makes those situations easier to deal with.
2. Pray together and individually. | I’ve become what they call “a praying wife” and it’s something I’m very proud of. I pray for my husband and our marriage daily. We also pray together every morning before work and in the evenings before bed. It’s made our bond even stronger and our connection to God even deeper.
3. Set aside time to talk about your finances, often. | As I mentioned a few years ago, I’m not one to get excited when we have to talk about our finances. However, I’ve become more aware of our financial situation and I understand what needs to be done in order to reach certain financial goals. When you know what’s going on with your money, and when there are no secrets about who makes what and who has what, things tend to flow a little better. And at least for me, I feel more at ease knowing what I/we can and cannot afford.
4. It’s OK to say ‘I’m sorry’ first. | This is one lesson I’ve had to learn over and over again, lol. Putting your pride to the side and staying sorry first doesn’t make you weak, at all. Sometimes it’s necessary to take the first step in order to resolve a certain issue. We all need a push sometimes, so put your pride to the side and learn to say I’m sorry…first.
5. Give each other space. | There’s nothing better than spending quality time with your husband, but I also value “me time”. I also enjoy spending time with my family and girlfriends. It’s OK not to be together 24-7. Time apart is a good thing, even if that means going into another room of the house. Spend a little time a part and give yourself time to miss one another.
6. Take the initiative. | Just like saying I’m sorry first, it’s OK to take the initiative and act first. If your husband usually takes out the trash and you see that the trashcan is overflowing, take the initiative and empty it yourself. Want to go out to eat at a fancy new restaurant? Pick up the phone, call and make reservations for two. I’ve learned that you don’t always have to wait for your husband to make the first move, date night plans, or to do certain chores. I’ve found that when I move first it (sometimes) makes him more eager to make the first move next time, and vice versa.
7. Don’t let others rush you into having children. | We’ve gone back and forth with when we should start trying to have a child. I even had a health scare that brought up the discussion of possibly starting the process earlier. But through prayer, talking to our doctors and discussing it with one another, we’ve made the decision to stick to our original plan. That plan is to be married for at least 5 years, then start trying have a child/children. Granted things happen when God says so, but we’re both sure that God knows our hearts. WE LOVE children and have plans to become parents, but there’s no rush. We’re enjoying the freedom of not having that obligation right now and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Period. Plus, we have my little sister, his nieces and nephew, our godson and our friends babies/children to practice with. We’ll be just fine; God’s got us.
So tell me, what are your thoughts on my 7 marriage lessons? Any tips or advice you’d like to share? Let me know!
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