A lot has changed since my last post. The biggest and most noticeable change? I’m pregnant! That’s right. Darrius and I are expecting our sweet bundle of joy in April 2020. God has been so good to us; we are incredibly grateful for this blessing. We decided to share the news via social media on our 10th dating anniversary, October 18th. So, of course, I had to spread the word here too!

Because I plan to document (some) this journey on the blog, I asked my Instagram followers if they had any pregnancy-related questions. I took the most asked questions and posted a brief “Pregnancy Q&A.” I also shared some of my beginning and current thoughts about being pregnant. Read more below!

PREGNANCY Q&A

1. What was your reaction when you found out? I was in shock, only because two weeks ago, the test I took was negative. I remember looking at the test, shaking my head, laughing hysterically, then crying hysterically. I Facetimed Darrius, and the service was terrible on his end. I could see him, but he couldn’t see me. Ha! I was crying and shouting, “Babe, I’m pregnant!” He, too, was in shock and just started laughing. Once I sent him a picture of the pregnancy test, he texted, “Wow.” Once I got myself together, a wave of emotions came over me – happiness, nervousness, fear, and, if I’m honest, disappointment. Although Darrius and I are very grown and know what it takes to make a baby, we weren’t “officially” trying or felt “ready.” We planned to start trying in December 2019. God had other plans. And now, several months later, I’m finally at peace with that.

2. Who did you tell first? My husband, of course. Then my younger sister, Taylor. I told her a few days after I took the test, and she was elated! She kept it a secret until Darrius, and I told my parents a few days later.

3. Did you have morning sickness? Yes. While I never threw up, thank God, I felt nauseous about every day (most of the day) during the 1st and early part of my 2nd trimester. I also experienced carsickness at the end of my 1st trimester.

4. Do you have any names picked out? We do! We’ve gone back and forth but narrowed it down to one girl and one boy’s name.

5. What has surprised you so far about pregnancy? The symptoms. Yes, I knew I’d experience pregnancy symptoms. But never did I imagine which ones and how intense. From the extreme exhaustion, sore tailbone, and excruciating nipple pain, I was NOT prepared! Thankfully, naps, certain prenatal yoga poses, and nipple cream has made those symptoms more bearable.

THE BEGINNING | Weeks 8-17

In the beginning, being pregnant was awful. I felt like crap; I barely ate, was extremely exhausted, and was on the verge of tears 24-7. I was also a nervous wreck because, around eight weeks, I was put on pelvic bed rest for a week due to overdoing it at work. I was terrified. I remember praying that everything would be OK. Thankfully, it was. My faith was definitely tested, and it wavered quite a bit. The baby’s heart rate went from 109 to 164 by our next appointment.

While I was extremely grateful to get over that hump, the symptoms (still) proceeded to kick my butt. Let’s just say weeks 9-12 were just flat-out rough. There were a lot of tears during those weeks, but I trudged through. Looking back, I know nothing, but God got me through. I remember telling my Mom that I didn’t enjoy being pregnant. I felt guilty about admitting that because saying it out loud made me feel ungrateful. My mother reassured me that it was OK to feel that way. She even told me that many women feel the same way.

As I continued to pray and journal through the first trimester, I realized that just because I don’t like being pregnant doesn’t mean I’m not grateful for the blessing. I’m eternally grateful that God chose me to carry life, which I don’t take for granted. I just needed to be reminded that I’m allowed to feel human emotions, and two, carrying a baby ain’t easy. It’s mentally, physically, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually draining.

CURRENTLY | 18 Weeks

Now that I’m almost 19 weeks and almost halfway through, I’m settling into my pregnancy. My second trimester has presented new symptoms, but I’m taking it all in stride. I’m moving my body more, (finally) getting better sleep, and tweaking my morning and afternoon routines. I’m also becoming more aware of when to take a break, ask for help, eat, say no, etc. The one thing I’m most excited about is feeling more connected to the baby. I talk to the baby constantly, sing to the baby in the morning, and we even listen to music together, thanks to the pregnancy headphones I ordered from Amazon.

As the holiday season quickly approaches, Darrius and I have decided to focus on getting our home organized and baby ready. Our home office will eventually become the baby’s room, so a few minor projects are lined up. Going from a family of 2 to a family of 3 excites us both, and I’m just really looking forward to being on this journey with him. I’m also grateful for my family and close friends who’ve kept me sane during this transitional period. It’s a lot to embrace, but I’m doing my best to take each day as it comes while remaining grateful.

Let the journey to parenthood begin…