Last week Darrius and I celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary! This past weekend we continued the celebration with a 3-day staycation at the Renaissance Baltimore Harborplace. We lead a pretty active lifestyle, together and separately, so the time spent relaxing, shopping and just being alone with one another was perfect. One thing we like to do each year is “review” our marriage. We sit and talk about our highs and lows, things we’ve improved on and certain things we need to continue working on. I want to share of the lessons I’ve learned so far, so check out the top 7 marriage lessons I’ve learned over the past 3 years.
1. Have Faith | There have been several times throughout our 3 years of marriage where Darrius and I have had to rely on nothing but God to get us through certain situations. Our unwavering faith has helped us get through sickness, unexpected financial setbacks, deaths and so much more. I’ve also learned that having faith doesn’t make the tough times disappear; it makes those times easier to get through.
2. Pray Together & Individually | I’ve become what they call “a praying wife” and it’s something I’m very proud of. I pray for my husband and our marriage daily. We also pray together every morning before work and in the evenings before bed. It’s made our bond even stronger and our connection to God even deeper.
3. Make Time to Talk About Money | I’ve become more aware of our financial situation and I understand what needs to be done in order to reach certain financial goals. When you know what’s going on with your money, and when there are no secrets about who makes what and who has what, things tend to flow much better. And at least for me, I feel more at ease knowing what I/we can and cannot afford.
4. It’s OK to Say ‘I’m sorry’ first | This is one lesson I’ve had to learn over and over again, lol. Putting your pride to the side and staying sorry first doesn’t make you weak, at all. Sometimes it’s necessary to take the first step in order to resolve a certain issue.
5. Give Eachother Some Space | There’s nothing better than spending quality time with my husband, but I also value “me time”. I also enjoy spending time with my family and girlfriends. It’s OK not to be together 24-7. Time apart is a good thing, even if that means going into another room of the house. Spend a little time a part and give yourself time to miss one another.
6. Take the Initiative | Just like saying I’m sorry first, it’s OK to take the initiative and act first. If your husband usually takes out the trash and you see that the trash can is overflowing, take the initiative and empty the trash yourself. Want to go out to eat at a fancy new restaurant? Pick up the phone, call and make reservations for two. You don’t always have to wait for your husband to make the first move, plan a date night, or do certain chores. I’ve found that when I move first it (sometimes) makes him more eager to make the first move next time, and vice versa.
7. Do Not Be Rushed into Having Children | We’ve gone back and forth on when we should start trying to have a child. I even had a health scare that brought up the discussion of possibly starting the process earlier. But through prayer, talking to our doctors and discussing it with one another, we’ve made the decision to stick to our original 5-year plan. Granted, things happen when God says so, but we’re both OK with our decision and we trust that God will give us the desires of our heart. We absolutely children, but right now we’re enjoying the freedom of not having that responsibility. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Period. Plus, we have my little sister, our nieces and nephew, our godson and our friend’s babies/children to practice with. We’ll be just fine; God’s got us!
So tell me, what are your thoughts on my 7 marriage lessons? Any tips or advice you’d like to share? Let me know!
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Oh to Be a Muse says
All great advice. I would say #4 would be my biggest issue here. Love what you said about #7. No one in our immediate family pressures us, but for some reason, second cousins and great aunts seem to always inquire, lol.
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Thanks, Cheryl! And that’s how it is with us. The distance relatives are the main ones. LOL! I know they mean well tho. Soon enough. 😉
Zaakirah Demba says
Thse are all great, thank you! As I have been married two years…I would say to keep in mind the R’s…romance…respect…and the P’s for the ladies…protection…provide… all while showing gratitude.
Thanks so much! And I LOVE the R’s & P’s…gotta remember those! 😉
Antionette Blake says
Good advice for newly married couples – Happy Anniversary Sis and wishing you and Darrius many more beautifully blessed years together!
Praying for and with each other is so important.
Marquita C. says
Whitney, this is wonderful advice! As a newly engaged woman, reading this has been very helpful and insightful. I will definitely share this with my fiancé’ as we go about planning our wedding and life together. Thanks so much! #BLMGirls
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