Whitney Nic James

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#WNJInspired | 7 Things I’ve Learned After 3 Years of Marriage

May 17, 2016 by Whitney 8 Comments

Last week Darrius and I celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary! This past weekend we continued the celebration with a 3-day staycation at the Renaissance Baltimore Harborplace. We lead a pretty active lifestyle, together and separately,  so the time spent relaxing, shopping and just being alone with one another was perfect. One thing we like to do each year is “review” our marriage. We sit and talk about our highs and lows, things we’ve improved on and certain things we need to continue working on. I want to share of the lessons I’ve learned so far, so check out the top 7 marriage lessons I’ve learned over the past 3 years.  

Marriage lessons

1. Have Faith | There have been several times throughout our 3 years of marriage where Darrius and I have had to rely on nothing but God to get us through certain situations. Our unwavering faith has helped us get through sickness, unexpected financial setbacks, deaths and so much more. I’ve also learned that having faith doesn’t make the tough times disappear; it makes those times easier to get through.

2. Pray Together &  Individually | I’ve become what they call “a praying wife” and it’s something I’m very proud of. I pray for my husband and our marriage daily. We also pray together every morning before work and in the evenings before bed. It’s made our bond even stronger and our connection to God even deeper. 

3. Make Time to Talk About Money | I’ve become more aware of our financial situation and I understand what needs to be done in order to reach certain financial goals. When you know what’s going on with your money, and when there are no secrets about who makes what and who has what, things tend to flow much better. And at least for me, I feel more at ease knowing what I/we can and cannot afford. 

In marriage, it’s OK to say ‘I’m sorry’ first. Push your pride to the side & just say it.

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4. It’s OK to Say ‘I’m sorry’ first | This is one lesson I’ve had to learn over and over again, lol. Putting your pride to the side and staying sorry first doesn’t make you weak, at all. Sometimes it’s necessary to take the first step in order to resolve a certain issue.

5. Give Eachother Some Space | There’s nothing better than spending quality time with my husband, but I also value “me time”. I also enjoy spending time with my family and girlfriends. It’s OK not to be together 24-7. Time apart is a good thing, even if that means going into another room of the house. Spend a little time a part and give yourself time to miss one another.

Don’t let others rush you into having kids. That decision is between you, your spouse and God.

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6. Take the Initiative | Just like saying I’m sorry first, it’s OK to take the initiative and act first. If your husband usually takes out the trash and you see that the trash can is overflowing, take the initiative and empty the trash yourself. Want to go out to eat at a fancy new restaurant? Pick up the phone, call and make reservations for two. You don’t always have to wait for your husband to make the first move, plan a date night, or do certain chores. I’ve found that when I move first it (sometimes) makes him more eager to make the first move next time, and vice versa.

7. Do Not Be Rushed into Having Children | We’ve gone back and forth on when we should start trying to have a child. I even had a health scare that brought up the discussion of possibly starting the process earlier. But through prayer, talking to our doctors and discussing it with one another, we’ve made the decision to stick to our original 5-year plan. Granted, things happen when God says so, but we’re both OK with our decision and we trust that God will give us the desires of our heart.  We absolutely children, but right now we’re enjoying the freedom of not having that responsibility. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Period. Plus, we have my little sister, our nieces and nephew, our godson and our friend’s babies/children to practice with. We’ll be just fine; God’s got us!


So tell me, what are your thoughts on my 7 marriage lessons? Any tips or advice you’d like to share? Let me know!

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Filed Under: Lifestyle, Style Tagged With: inspiration, marriage

#WNJInspired | 2 Years Down, Through Sickness & Health

May 12, 2015 by Whitney 24 Comments

Yesterday hubby and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary. Thinking back on our year, I am extremely blessed and thankful. Last year we both dealt with some health issues and to be honest, I encountered some dark days. Yes, I broke down a time or two. However, it wasn’t because I was sick. When I’m sick, I can handle it. I roll with the punches and keep getting up. But when my husband was diagnosed with diabetes, I was heartbroken. I was numb.

marriage

Realizing that your best friend and partner in life is sick puts life in perspective real quick. It makes you stronger as a person, but also as a unit. You have to be strong for the other person and deal with your breakdowns in private. God knows there were times I thought I wasn’t going to make it, but by His grace I remained strong, my faith tested but not lost.

I’ve never seen him in the hospital and I’ve never witnesses him being somewhat helpless. I was scared, so of course the first thing I did was call my mother. Thank God for a praying and compassionate mother. I needed to know how to be strong for him. I’m always used to him being super man, handling everything and taking care of me. After talking through things with my mother and praying on my own, I realized that I could be there for him because I had to. There was no option. I made a vow to be with him through sickness and health and while that part came faster than I was prepared for, I was equipped to be his rock.

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Through dealing with Darrius’ diagnoses, we have learned quite a bit, about ourselves and our marriage. Here’s a look at 3 things we learned:

Darrius’ 2 Year Lessons

1. Put yourself in their shoes. 

2. Date your spouse.

3. Trust the pace of your relationship; move at your own pace, with guidance from the Lord.

Whitney’s 2 Year Lessons

1.  Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”— I Corinthians 13: 7-8 

2. Pay attention to your spouse. 

3. Marriage is what you make it.

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Trust the pace of your relationship; move at your own pace, with guidance from the Lord.

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So tell me, what are some lessons you’ve learned in marriage along the way? Let me know!

As Darrius and I continue to thrive as a couple, we always remember to put God first and always have faith. My husband is getting healthier everyday – he is not allowing a diagnoses to control his life. Together, we’re fighting and we will be victorious! Marriage is fun, hard, worth it, but above all is it’s a blessing. Until next time, be blessed and stay safe…XO!

** Linkups: Monday Mash-Up **

Filed Under: Inspiration, Style Tagged With: faith, inspiration, love, marriage

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